Today I ran a 5 mile race. Here were my thoughts...
Pre-race: I haven't run 5 miles since...right...this is just asking for failure. Well, there are walkers. I can always join the walkers. No. You will run. Oh great! I have to go to the bathroom. Bad timing. There's no time now. Dang it. Now I have to run 5 miles just to get to the bathroom! I'll just run it 10 minutes at a time.
Mile 1: I hope I can keep pace without my ipod. Those ladies are twice my age and wearing spandex pants. Hmm...well...more power to 'em. I wish I had my ipod. You know, you can always tell the good runners, but the mediocre runners like me...they all look like athletes so they are hard to pick from the crowd. Humph. How do people run without music blasting in their ears? Ok, so far so good. It's cold, but surely it will warm up soon. Oh good...mile 1 in 10 minutes almost exactly!
Mile 2: I can run 3 miles. If I can get through this first two, then surely I can coax myself through 3 more. Woohoo...half way mark! The rest is all downhill. Well, except that it's not down hill. It's uphill. That stinks. Hey, I know where I am now. Home is just down that road. I could cut out now and be home in 10 minutes. That's not going to work, my bike is at the start line. Drat. So how much further? Hmmm...Martin always said to focus on your arms when your legs get tired. Maybe that will help. Yeah! There's the 2nd mile marker. 10 minutes and a few seconds. Not bad.
Mile 3: Ok, now I just have to make it 3 more miles. I can do that. I've done it before. Pace is right on track. At this rate, I have to run for 30 more minutes. 30 more minutes! I wish the pavement was even. Maybe the sidewalk is more even. Nope. Ok, this is kind of fun right now! I'm starting to pass a few people. Uh oh...mile three is a slow one. 10 minutes and several seconds. Pick up the pace!
Mile 4: Well, I've officially run my farthest in Ireland. Any bit over 3 miles is a Ireland record I wonder if anyone else in this race can say their cross training includes rock climbing and ballet! Ha! Here's hoping uniquely trained muscles and enthusiasm make up for lack of endurance! Some old fart directing race traffic just told me to put some effort into it. Jerk! I am putting effort into it! I thought those guys were just supposed to say things like "Good job! Keep it up! You're almost done!" Again, just over 10 minutes for that mile.
Mile 5: Only a mile left. Alternating the focus on legs and then arms seems to help take my mind off the rebelling muscles. I've come this far, there's no stopping now. Still have to go to the bathroom. Ha! everything is in miles and now they have an 800 meter mark. What's 800 meters? You shouldn't mix metric and imperial units in the same race. OK. Put the peddle to the metal! There's the finish line!
Finish Line: 50 minutes 16 seconds. Not competitive by any means, but at least I ran the whole thing. I think I'm going to collapse. Oooh. How nice. Old ladies passing out water and snacks. Maybe I'll survive after all. Now, who wants to race me to the bathroom!